The best person I know

“Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.” ~Hardy D. Jackson

Right before the beginning of the end, my family was set to celebrate the remarriage of one of my favorite uncles. My uncle had found happiness and grace with an old friend, and my family was honored to soon witness their ceremony.

This wedding was also merely days before Rudi left my life. I remember sharing with him about the upcoming occasion. He told me to pay attention during this weekend away because something profound would happen to me. In fact, he felt this weekend was directly tied to not only my future, but to his prophesy.

I remember clearly exactly when it happened. “It” being defined as the moment I knew my life was changing. I became a different person in exactly that instant and there was no going back. Ever.

The church was filled with family and friends. The wedding was about to start. I sat in a pew surrounded by my children, husband and relatives. Faint sounds of babies crying and children stirring filled the air. The music began to play and the beautiful bride walked down the aisle. The wedding was starting. My uncle and his new bride were beaming, eyes glistening and hearts thumping.

It was then that one of my children needed a restroom break. I remember my husband jumped up and removed the child from the church. And they never came back. Later, I found out they decided to play outside instead of participating in the ceremony.

But the real point to the story is what was said inside the church. The words spoken by the pastor my husband never heard. This message altered my course in life.

The pastor invited every one of the adults in the room to reflect on our partners. Our significant others. Our spouses. Or even those just in a casual relationship with each other.

He told us marriage is sacred. And the art of a long and fruitful marriage is to find the right person. Of course, right? Wasn’t this Love 101? The last thing I needed or wanted was another fairytale story about soul mates and true love. Afterall, this hadn’t been my experience with marriage.

But, the pastor went on. He told us to look at the person we came with, and he meant really look at them. Stare into their faces, look in their eyes and see them for who they really are.

I sat there without my partner. His spot was empty. I couldn’t see him for who he was in that moment, because he was gone.

Everyone else inside that church faded away and the pastor started communicating only with me. We were the only two in the room and his message was delivered right to my soul.

Chills went up and down my spine and my breath caught at what he said next.

He told me if the person I was with in life was not the “best person you know”
then don’t be with them. Look at your partner, he said. Are they the person to which I measure above all others? This person should truly define what I feel are the best values in life.

He repeated it again, just for me. Life is too precious to not spend my days with the best person I know. And the union of holy matrimony is too important to settle for less than I deserve. Less than what I believe is the most life has to offer.

I looked again beside me. All I saw were the faces of my children. No partner. I started to think about him in a general sense and I realized what I had known all along.

Rudi was right. My future became clearer.

My uncle’s wedding was beautiful. During the wedding dance, a weight was lifted off my shoulders. My body and soul floated freely to the music. I felt more alive than I had in a decade. It was almost as if I had been given permission to stop settling for less than the best.

What happened to me that day reminds me of this quote: 

“Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music.”

The best person I know can hear the music in my heart.

Dance with me,

~Daisy