The beginning of the end

“The only thing more unthinkable than leaving was staying; the only thing more impossible than staying was leaving.” ~Elizabeth Gilbert

My professional training dictates when the story reads negatively, it’s time to change the story.

In my personal life, this was easier said than done.

As someone’s wife for the best part of the last decade – I gave the best part of me…to him.

It’s a lesson in reality when you wake up next to someone and realize just because you took some vows and you took some chances, you don’t add up. You don’t make sense. Truth be told, we never did.

When bad became worse, the proverbial line was drawn in the sand. And, one year ago became the beginning of the end. The ‘before’ to my pursuit of happily everafter.

The hardest part for me was admitting to myself I was finally ready to call it quits. Afterall, I was no quitter. I took my marriage vows seriously and there was an expectation to last the long haul.

And then there was the house. Our house. I wanted to raise my children in this glorious home with its banisters and beams. I wanted to have 60 years of memories come flooding back to me on a porch swing one fine spring day in my golden years.

But, the line was drawn in the sand. I drew it. And I had to answer to myself if I let the waves wash it away, again. So, I got up and walked out of my reality. Never looked back. 

I just spent the last 12 months ‘getting dissolved.’

Little did I know waiting for me along my path was a symbol of innocence and purity. Planted just for me in perfect bloom. Loyalty and love. The symbol became a daisy.

The remarkable thing about a daisy – strength. They stay steadfast and strong. Bending when others would break. Hanging in there in perfect cadence.

Maya Angelou says, “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” My survival is tied to the story of the daisy.

And this story I owe my life. I can’t wait to write it for it needs to be told.

Dance with me, 

~Daisy