Friday, December 30, 2011


"When two divorced people get together, four people get into bed." ~Jewish proverb

It’s relatively safe to say most people will never forget their first love. Not their name. Not the place in time.

And, with the passing of time – most first loves take on an almost idyllic fantasy of what could’ve been. The bad is forgotten. The reason that love was lost fades. Only the moment of falling is captured as a snapshot in the heart and mind. Forever.

Same goes for a first marriage. Over time, the bitterness fades and all that remains is deep-rooted longing for outwardly different outcomes. The desire to never have experienced the process.

And in extreme cases the inability to let go. Move on. Forward.

Striving to become someone’s last love means learning the skill of acceptance. It’s an art only mastered by the definitely mature.

In a perfect world, all unwanted baggage would be checked at the gate of opportunity.

If you want to know where your own heart is, look where your mind goes when it wanders.

Sometimes, I wonder what actually goes through his mind when someone mentions her name.

Does it always make him draw a breath. Does it still tug somewhere deep inside.
Will anger always be a disguise for resentment and regret.

And, will he live the rest of his days in fear of provoking an old ghost.

My greatest desire is for him to save the best part of himself for someone that truly deserves it. To not lose the best years of his life stuck in the past.

Loving someone is the easy part. It’s figuring out what you can accept and what you cannot compromise that gets complicated.

The hard part is the act of making your new partner the priority. Above a career. Above the popular vote. Even above the demands and wants of young children.

It’s sizing up the mountain before the long climb. Taking a deep breath and a giant step. Uphill.  

Saying you’re over an old someone out loud is only a mechanism to convince yourself you’re ready. In the quiet stillness, when you’re all alone – that’s when you finally realize what becomes the truth.

Is it right to give up on your last love when it’s clear the depth of your love for them becomes not enough to see you through the differences?

When the choice to change appears unchosen.

When the gate is never reached. When baggage claim becomes the permanent destination.

Letting go of the past doesn’t make one weak. It’s the opposite. It means finally being strong enough to grasp tight to something better. Happiness.

At any given moment every one of us has the power to say this is not how our story is going to end.

Go ahead. Check your bags. It’s time to let go. 


The line is drawn. Cross over. To me.

“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us.” ~Joseph Campbell

Dance with me,

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